Relaxation

 It is well known that stress plays a big factor in a variety of important areas of human health.  Research the benefits of regular relaxation in stress management, anxiety, overall physical health, happiness and depression prevention.  

I turned to a favorite health influencer, Andrew Huberman.  Here is his 2.5 hour recap.  You can also forward to 2:11 for a synopsis or 2:14 for a description of a multi-purpose meditation approach I plan to try next.  

Meditation and mindful relaxation techniques can increase focus, improve mood, and sleep.  

One approach to meditation is to consider whether you presently have a bias toward interoception and sensing your internal state or exteroception and distractions around you.  Can you sense your heartbeat without touching a vein?  Huberman suggests pursuing a meditation technique that challenges your 'ception bias.  For instance, if external distractions (exteroception) are dominant, closing your eyes and focusing inwards may be more helpful.  If small variations in your internal state are intrusive, you may find yourself prone to anxiety and it may be helpful to meditate with your eyes open or even moving to draw your awareness to your surroundings. 

A second approach is to consider if you want to exit your meditation feeling more alert or more relaxed.  In those cases, you may want to focus on some form of cyclical breathing.  Breathing which emphasizes the inhale (more forceful and/or for longer duration) will create a more alert state.  Breathing which focuses on the exhale will create more relaxation.  

I final consideration is if you are seeking a more or less dissociative state.  Dissociation may be useful if the circumstances call for a more stoic approach -- you and your kid aren't served if you empathize with them too deeply during a meltdown.  However, acting like a robot going through the motions isn't great either.  Huberman suggests that good sleep and a meditation practice can assist with taking the middle path of being connected enough to be moved by emotions but not completely unmoored.  

Take 5 minutes out of your day today to breathe deeply, clear your mind, and relax your body.  

Kevin Kelly had quipped in Excellent Advice for Living that the minimum depth for a porch people would hang out on was 6 feet.  I measured mine.  Just barely 6 feet.  A few books later, I am marveling how Amy Tan has incorporated observation of birds into her daily routine in the Backyard Bird Chronicles.  So I invested 5 minutes of the first day of the year "relaxing" on my porch, watching rain drops puddle in my cracked up walkway and roll down the trashbags protecting the newly-rebuilt posts that already have landed back on my general contractor father in law's punchlist.  This is clearly a good badge for me to work on because it was anything but relaxing-- "ooh, the rain is still blowing onto the porch a bit,"  "I should really sweep,"  "if I had been doing my core exercises and yoga more consistently, my hips wouldn't feel so tight and my back wouldn't be so slouchy," "hubby is probably chuckling at me on the other side of the porch cam data feed," "the traffic at this 4 way stop sounds kind of like ocean waves," "we do still have squirrel in the oak tree, the cats haven't scared them all off!"  Huberman would say the real neural plasticity and growth comes from all the times we return to the exercise, not from staying in a monk-like state for the duration.  Eventually I got a few good reps of following my breathing and listening to my heartbeat.  Progress not perfection!